She Left Him and Me
Since I started my job four months ago, we have had around 10 or so deaths. None of them are easy, and they never will be.
The hardest one yet and quite possibly the hardest for a very long time passed away a few days ago, Each night I went in and held her hand, hoping that wasn’t the last time I could do that.
She went faster than we ever expected, She had just been put on hospice when she passed.
There are so many amazing things about this woman.
She always told me how much she loved me. When I would check on her at night, I would hold her hand and stroke her hair for around a minute, then I’d kiss her forehead and tell her I loved her too.
She was the sweetest person I ever met. I would stay as long as I could with her and her husband.
Now….she’s gone. And it hurts.
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A few days have gone by since she passed. I haven’t been able to get my thoughts together.
I’ve been checking up on her husband several times a day just to see how he is doing.
Unfortunately, he’s not taking it too well.
I was trying to get him to come out and visit with us down in the living room. He asked me if I would take him upstairs to buy a Studebaker for his wife.
You know what is really hard to tell somebody?
“Sweetie? Your wife has passed”
You know what is even harder?
Having to repeat that sentence several times.
He did ask me to look for cars on my phone, which I did. I wasn’t sure if that was the perfect idea, but I wanted him to have a little joy.
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The husband has been nothing but sweet to us. He has held my hand, kissed me, and said the kindest words.
I’ll take back the “nothing”
There were times we yelled. He screamed. He cried. He asked me questions I had no idea how to answer. This is a confusing time for him, so I never took the harsh words or actions personally.
I loved getting to tuck him into bed. I’ll get him ready for bed, cover him up, and put his glasses on his bedside table. Her bed is not in the room anymore, which I know is a little scary for him Two chairs and one bed. A closet that still has her clothes hanging up. Pictures that still have her in them.
However, with each day, I think he is slowly understanding what is happening. He sits at the big table with us because the table he used to sit at had an extra spot, which now is not being filled.
Things are hard, for him, for our staff, and definitely me.
I’m going to miss my special lady always and I still send my love above.